HEART & SOUL : Tough times will require a long-term response
Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2008
In hard times, it’s easy to view the world in adversarial terms. The path of least resistance focuses on the ubiquitous, scheming “they.” (“ They’ll take your last dime, if you let ’em. ” ) It directs what little energy we have into blame and anger rather than growth and strength.
If we’re mired in this attitude, our response to new ideas or opportunities is an automatic, “We can’t do that,” rather than, “How could we make that happen ?” The instant assumption is that it won’t work, it’s too expensive, it’ll take too much time. We sink into the certainty that even if we could do it, “they” would ruin everything in the end.
This “recoil against” rather than “interest in” or “movement toward” is the most dangerous way to think right now. Of course there are people who take advantage of us, who are greedy, narcissistic or abusive. That’s a given. Staying positive doesn’t discount greed, hatred, or ignorance — and it doesn’t make us more likely to be victimized. Instead, it acknowledges reality and seeks to improve it.
The goal in hard times is to be resilient, to have the inner strength and character to survive and move on. We need that “I may bend but I won’t break” quality. If we really want to overcome challenges, we must understand that negative emotions weaken us and positive emotions strengthen us.
It’s not our first reaction that matters most, it’s our long-term response that has the greatest power. Given the deteriorating economy and the pain and challenges we face as a nation, we have to stay resourceful and seize any opportunity to rise above the situation. To embrace resilient behavior, it helps to know what it is.
Resilience is a composite of positives, including the ability to endure stress well. It’s a combination of resourcefulness, optimism, willingness to take action, creative thinking, spiritual strength, perseverance and hope. It is rooted in personal character, in the determination to stand for or believe in something enduring, and therefore endure oneself.
Whether your goal is to survive hard times or to triumph over them, the worst thing you can do is dwell on blame, regret and anger. Dwelling on negatives undermines all the emotions and attitudes that make us resilient. Surrounding yourself with people who dwell on dark emotions will only reward you with another lesson about the depressing effect of negative people.
If you grew up in a family that focused on the negative, then you have to carefully monitor your thoughts. I speak from personal experience. You must make resourceful thinking a habit. Hard times happen, and our honest reaction may be sadness, disappointment and fear. The key is to move through those, not stay stuck in them. If we stay in those emotions, they rule us. If we move on through them, even by simply expressing gratitude for something that’s going right, we pull ourselves back up.
Change takes time. Things may get worse before they get better. In the meantime, create positive momentum in your life, move forward in a small rewarding way, and do not succumb to negativity.
With all my heart, I believe we are born to be resilient. It is our birthright. If we recognize what it takes, and teach it to our children, we can prevail over anything. Write to Jennifer Hansen at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 515 Enterprise Drive, Suite 106, Lowell, Ark. 72745. E-mail her at:
jhansen@arkansasonline. com
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