WHAT’S IN A DAME : Girl learns dismaying lesson: Looks matter
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A What’s in a Dame exclusive ! We’ve received a copy of young Chinese singer Yang Peiyi’s back-to-school report !
Or, well, something like that (um, do children in China even get a seasonal break ?). We’re going to do our best to translate as accurately as possible, but admittedly our Chinese is very rusty.
Ahem:
What I Did on My Summer Vacation by Yang Peiyi
It was a summer just like any other. I was doing what all less-thanworldly Americans think children in China would be doing — playing Chinese checkers and Chinese jump rope and eating chow mein.
And then everything changed !
My adorable angel-voiced self was entered in a singing contest, a Chinese Idol, if you will, where I belted my petite heart out. And I was no bloody awful Sanjaya Malakar, dawg; I was capable Carrie Underwood all the way. I won the ultimate prize of the competition: The chance to sing at the Summer Olympics Opening Ceremony !
I was going to be famous ! Me ! Seven-year-old Yang Peiyi !
I spent weeks practicing and perfecting “Ode to the Motherland,” so that by the dress rehearsals I was confident my singing would make my family and country proud.
My voice did. The rest of me not so much.
At the eleventh hour, this high and mighty Chinese Politburo dude who was watching a final practice decided my little-girl grill was too jacked-up for me to represent our nation before the millions watching. That’s right, he didn’t like my teeth.
Oh and that wasn’t all. He declared my precious, cherubic face chubby.
Chubby ? Sorry government guy, you’ve got your terminology all wrong. It’s called normal. Females my age — not to mention those who are 35 years old and write newspaper columns — sometimes carry a little extra baby fat and it’s perfectly OK.
Now, I would never be so rude as to say anything like this man did — I’d certainly never call him ugly. But let me just say I don’t think the Chinese tabloids will be following him around to secret hotel rendezvous and that he’ll be confessing to narcissismrooted transgressions on national TV because he’s so irresistible to fertile husband-stealing skanks if you know what I mean.
Anyhoo, back to the story.
Next thing I know, I’m out of a gig. And 9-year-old Lin Miaoke is in. The profound hurt I experienced can be likened to the frustration Jan endured in the suffocating shadow of her older, infuriatingly gorgeous, perfect sister Marcia on that old American family sitcom I’ve never seen. All I ever hear is how great Miaoke is at this or how wonderful Miaoke did that !
Miaoke ! Miaoke ! Miaoke !
The only difference is Jan (who eventually realized her self-worth... until her next identity crisis ) is a TV character. And I’m a real human being, a young one. I have many, many years of life — as well as therapy — ahead of me. And I’ll forever be branded as the Chick Who Wasn’t Pretty Enough.
Miaoke, who will forever be branded as the Chick Who Was Pretty Enough But Not Gifted Enough, got to dress up and “perform” but the crowd heard my voice as her lips were moving. It’s kind of like another episode of that American show I never saw in which Greg was hired to be rock star Johnny Bravo not because he could sing but because he fit the suit (he eventually quit, so as not to compromise his craft ).
In conclusion, all this talk about American culture makes me wish I could move to the United States where so many people have heard my story and felt appalled at this mistreatment. Where everyone is not so shallow and looks-obsessed. Where prominent young women — like the cast of The Hills, the Olsen twins, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian — are celebrated for their skills, and not for their appearances. Lip service ? E-mail: jchristman@arkansasonline. com What’s in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman ’hood.
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